Californication

Califonication. the word that leads you into a definition that makes a simple idea into a complicated process. what the fuck did i just say? im not even sure i understood that myself. but anyway, i miss california. to me its a place where you can go and have DECENT fun and still enjoy life.

as kids, we all kind of grew up in our own little neighborhood. everyone new each other, and thats what made it special. the people you grew up with. your street was the area you called home. we all knew as kids where our neighborhood started and ended. when you went outside of that area, we were strangers, nobodies. and im not going to hide it: i fucking hate Houston. ive never felt like a part of  place i would call home. i feel like an outsider, a wanderer. wherever i go you get that nauseous feeling of homesickness, and thats what ive felt for the past 15 fucking years.

how would you feel if you were ripped away from everything you love? leaving behind only a sea of memories and dead fish. everything pisses me off here. i cant stand that country ass accent. i cant stand the heat. i cant stand not having shit to do. everyday i feel i have to drag my ass out of bed and force another day down my throat. there's no going back though, what's done is done.

californication has never stopped nor will it stop. its a movement that progresses as the times change. its here to stay, and not moving anytime soon. the meaning of the word depends entirely on you. to me it means a paradise lost, a place that exists and you want to visit, but your let down when finally get the chance to see it.  

i wasnt too inspired today to write. ive caught a shitty case of homesickness today and i thought "fuck it. ill write about it." tomorrow i promise will be more exciting. if your ecpecting me to write more tonight, oh well, this is all you got. maybe before i go to bed ill think about a little place called Anaheim, California. My home.