tonights blog may be short or really long, depending if im on a roll or not. and depends how much more Sunny Delight we have, but anyway. i was thinking today about a topic to elaborate on, and i found the perfect one. ALOT of guys can sympathize with me on this one. tonight's blog episode: when you really like a girl but she has you on the "we're just friends" status.
as im writing this, im laughing my ass off. i cant even count HOW many times this shit has happened to me. you spend your free time helping her with her problems, you stay up late at night to give her emotional support, and you her shoulder to cry on. and over time your thinking "i can make you happy". then when you ask her to be your girlfriend she just looks at you in shock and says " i thought we were just friends?". what.the.fuck. i mean, not to be rude, but all those nights when it was just you and me, pouring our emotions out, i thought we had a fucking thing going on. thats why i thought you only came to me for help. hahaha. i always thought that was pure fucking bullshit. if there's one thing i really hate, its people wasting my time. and that shit definitely counts as wasting time.
but im not going to lie. it feels like your being led on. why else would you just come to me? you feel used. you feel numb. you feel like a piece of your heart was ripped out of you and ran over on I-10 traffic on a monday morning. its not enjoyable. but the worst feeling of all is you just straight up feel like a dumbass. what made you think you could get with her? your not good enough for her. lever her alone. you get so shaken by the incident you dont even know if you should even talk to her again. just writing about this makes me feel like shit again.
im starting to remember things that could have been. in high school and even a little bit now, i was always the guy that listened, and i always got my heart broken. most of the times chicks would vent to me about how much of an asshole her dude is, or how she doesnt get along with her parents. i always listened, but at the same tiime i was hoping that our relationship would be more than it was. to this day, its never happened. i did feel used, but for that moment she was talking, it wasnt about my feelings, it was about hers, and what i could do to help. i never liked openly talking about my feelings, but when you go into listning mode, you just cant help but talk freely about whats in your heart. its quite liberating actually. but when the moments over, you both never again talk about what each of you said. it stays between you both. and thats when your brain creates the illusion. you start to think you both have things in common, and that it was sort of destiny that you two would meet. reality is: im almost 75% sure she doesnt really give a fuck. thats it. you ever wonder why when shes happy she doesnt talk to you? she doesnt need you. your just a fucking tool. your pathetic piece of shit. you seriously thought you even had a chance?
ive come to considered my self a great listener now. i realized that although she may not feel the same way i do, she's still my friend and deserves my respect and compassion. to this day, ive NEVER denied a friend my help, and you can ask anyone i know if thats true or not. i realized that all women want is someone to listen to them. you dont necessarily have to say anything, but to them, you just being there listening is more than enough for them. it shows you care. and to anyone that just feels comforting, knowing that anytime your feeling down or just having a bad moment in life, you can always count on that special someone to always be there for you. sometimes you help out the person you care about more by being the "friend" rather than being the boyfriend.
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