it happened again. another nightmare. so vivid and violent, but so poetic. my dreams are starting to become more and more like poems. theyre starting to have a beginning, middle and end. they all have the same themes. death. pain. misery. suffering. are my dreams a consequence of years of watching horror movies? maybe. are my dreams caused by my fascination of violent and insane minds? probably. one thing i am sure of, my dreams would make some pretty kick ass movies.
each night before i go to sleep, i go through a ritual. i drink some coffee, read a few pages of the book im working on, listen to 30 minutes of music, and call it a night. thats when the fun begins. you see, each night my thoughts play a different style of russian roulette. instead of passing around a revolver with one loaded chamber, my brain plays with my dreams. sometimes i can go a week or more without a single dream, other times i have good dreams 3 times in 1 week. and then there are times like last night where my brain says "fuck you, your not sleeping tonight." once the ritual is done, i close my eyes and concentrate on sleeping. usually works too.
shortly after i fall asleep, the show starts. i was in a grocery store, getting some last minute food items. the place was complete chaos. people running, fighting, shouting everywhere. i had a shopping cart of groceries and water that i was able to salvage out of there. anarchy had taken over. on the tv that was in the store, the reports were coming in. a super storm the size of the city was making its way towards us in record speed. by the time i was making it out to my car, the storm had reached me. i run back inside, taking all my supplies with me. but while i was running back inside, i noticed a smell in the air, and the clouds were a different color. the sky was blanketed in crimson colored clouds. they were the color of a summer sunset. the next thing that happened made me realize how insanely terrible this nightmare could (and would) be.
i woke up around 1am and made sure i was still alive. the intensity of dreams sometimes gets channeled through your subconscious and into your body. that explains why people talk, sweat, or move during dreams. after a few minutes of regaining my grip on reality, i fall back asleep. my subconscious wasnt done with me yet. the dream picks back up where it left off. when i was running back inside the store, there was the faint but corrosive smell in the air that i noticed. it was raining gasoline.
i take refuge in a restroom, picking up a fire blanket that was on the floor. i know, convenient right? the fire storm was starting outside. i cover myself with the blanket and lie completely still in the corner of the restroom. the agonizing screams of pain and help surrounded me. i was alone in the restroom and under the blanket, but the screams felt like they were next to me. people were running back inside, but they were completely engulfed in flames. they set fire to everything inside. explosions from gas tanks and cars could be heard from the outside. hurricane force winds blew some of the gasoline rain into the store. people were running, screaming, crying, praying. the extreme heat could be felt underneath the fire blanket. at any moment i was expecting to burn too. after seconds of silence, the wind stopped. so did the screams.
i woke up again. it was 5:30am. i felt nauseous. no nightmare i have ever had has made me feel that way. it was that intense. by this point, i didnt want to go back to sleep. i knew that if i did, the dream wouldnt end. on the other hand, if i wanted it to go away, i had to face it through the end. i got nothing to lose, well, except sleep. after another 20 minute struggle, i pass out again.
just like i thought, it starts where i left off. i come out from under the blanket. there's no power in the store, but the flames inside led the way. the store was completely on fire. smoke blanketed the roof. i had to get out of there before i suffocated. to be quiet honest, i cant really describe what i saw inside. everything was burned, black, and covered in soot. only the silhouette of shelfs and registers remained. i make it out the store. what i see next was one of the worst things ive ever seen, real or fake.
i run out the store. when my eyes adjusted to the light, i felt my stomach drop, my knees shake and buckle, and an ache in my heart ive never felt. the sky cleared, but it had an orange/red color to it. cars were destroyed and charbroiled. buildings were blown to pieces. some of the light poles melted. in the distance i could still hear explosions go off. the first thing on my mind was that this was it. the day finally came. the end of days. hell was making its way to earth. the four horsemen would run rampant in our realm, slaying any survivors that were left. Death's angels would make its way soon to feed off the bodies and souls of the newly departed. they were hells cleanup crew. cheap but efficient.
the smell of burning hair and flesh was in the air. so this is what the holocaust must've been like. i assess the damage done: total annihilation. i walk across the parking lot to see if there were any survivors. none. just piece of flesh and bone left behind. at this point my nose feels like its on fire. the hairs inside felt completely burned away, almost as if they melted. the stench of the bodies, hair, and gasoline made me heave plenty of times, but nothing came out. my eyes are filled with tears. it was a mixture of both tears of sadness and the fumes still in the air. still walking across the lot, i asked myself why this all happened. what is some sort of purge? could it really be the end of days? how did it rain gasoline? i walk up to the main road and look down to see how far the fire affected the area. nothing survived. smoke was emanating from homes as far as i could see. there was no hope. there were no survivors.
i walk onto the middle of the road and begin to go towards the residential area. by this point hope and faith were long gone for me. i realized that i was alone. nothing or no one made it out. feeling tired and weak, i layed down in the middle of the road. i cried a few silent tears and went to sleep. ashes were raining down and covering me like snow. i went to sleep and never woke back up.
