life is a trip. it really is. i just recently saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers in concert this past saturday. i must say, god was looking out for me last week.
it starts out last tuesday. i was just browsing through facebook when i read a post a OLD friend put up. FLOOR SEAT TICKETS TO THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS FOR SALE! i immediately called her up and told her i was more than happy to get them off her hands. it just so happens that the past month i was looking for tickets. and the cheapest i found was $250 each. saturday came and the rest was history. ever since the show, i realized how everything came into place. god knew how bad i wanted to see them live. RHCP is tied for #1 on my favorite bands list next to legendary Guns N' Roses.
the concert was everything and more that i hoped for. frontman anthony kiedis ran around stage like he was still in his 20's, when in reality, he's turning 50 november 1st. he sounds even better live. i do miss john frusciante on guitar though. he brought soul and depth into their live performances, but josh did a wonderful job playing all of their older hits. flea is just a monster on bass, he plays as funky as they can come, and he by far is the craziest one in the band. last but not least, chad smith has to be one of the baddest ass drummers i have ever seen. at first glance you will definitely confuse him for will ferrell. they look like exact twins. never missing a beat and improvising like a true professional.
their setlist consisted of a mix of old and new. rain dance maggie and look around were present. of course under the bridge, cant stop, by the way, and around the world were among the fan favorites. the 2 songs i almost cried to were californication and............scar tissue. when i heard the opening lick for scar tissue, i had this overwhelming feeling of joy and sadness. this song is the anthem of my life, and i finally heard it live. ive been a fan since 99 when the cd Californication came out. i was 8 years old. im 21 now, and finally hearing it come through kiedis's live vocals was almost a little too much for me. it was that beautiful.
this concert meant much more to me than just another night out. RHCP has been the basis to alot of the poems i write here. some of the posts on here come directly from their song titles, and after this show, expect alot more to come. creativity has been my main outlet to let my voice be heard, even if nobody is there. music is such a beautiful thing. sure, most of what i hear today is total garbage, but i have a huge respect to all musicians out there. im one too. and if youve been reading my posts, all of you know just how important music is to me. the air that i breathe, the blood in my veins, the nerves to my brain. music is all that and so much more to me.
on the road to find the way,
to fortune, money, music, fame.
saturday night we go to play,
cause music is my aeroplane.
sold out show to see the best,
floor seats sold to pay my rent.
the music puts the soul to rest,
the lyrics seeming heaven sent.
long lines in the humid breeze, cant stop dancing on the floor.
sing the hits the crowd you please,
from the super rich to the dirt poor.
smiles and applause,
the unity of every nation.
the music is our cause,
we define californication.
writing for the sake of fun,
lyrics done to the crowds appeal. venice queen out in the sun, scar tissue that will never heal.
leaving with a smile for me,
the stadium all in unison sing.
inspiration for all to see,
its just a minor thing, and im a minor king.
i love writing for fun again! i feel so liberated! and im ridiculously happy at this moment. all the words in bold are actually songs from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. check them out. to me, Minor Thing is a feel good song that i listen too when driving around. seeing them live, i can die happy now.
it starts off the same. my dream i mean. waking up off the floor of an unknown apartment. my own, maybe. last nights pizza and coffee taste still lingering in my tongue. an ashtray the size of mt everest is still smoldering. the tv is on, its the morning news. nothing good as usual. the gears in my brain try to work out whats going on, but im met with the throbbing pain of a freshly closed bullet hole my left shoulder. 2 inches lower and i wouldnt be telling this story. getting up was no easy task with one arm, especially after youve downed one to many hydrocodone pills. it all made sense.
i crawl across the floor to the couch and use it as leverage to get me up. i was a shitty mess. someone took the time to help me change into my soccer shorts. i thanked whoever that brave soul was in my head. the flashbacks started, and it was something i didnt want to relive.
the previous night i was on patrol with someone i could never put a face to, and i couldnt tell you what city im in if my life depended on it. we were responding to a traffic-stop-turned-shootout call in an apartment complex. the officers in need of assistance were close by. we get there and take cover next to the other cops. i didnt know how many subjects there were, my mind went into survival mode. i tell my partner that we should out flank them. he agrees and we make a run for the next apartment unit. we then separate, i take the right, he takes the left of the building. one of the first rules of police work is to NEVER split up. i was about to learn why.
we were about to meet up on the other side of the building when i hear gunfire being exchanged. i see my partner shoot a subject in the leg and neutralize him, now going in for the arrest. i follow from a distance when all of a sudden a shadow from the alley comes out and shoots him point blank in the neck. time seemed to speed up, because in a few seconds i exchanged bullets with the shadow and got hit myself, but i took him down.
i never remembered the rest. i see myself falling an immense pain that it almost felt real. no bulletproof vest. it weighed me down. apparently i blacked out from loss of blood. when i asked about my partner, he was dead at the seen. my stomach dropped and i let out a tired and bloody whimper. i failed.
thats when i wake up. i felt like total shit when i did. the dream felt so real. the pain, the nausea, the emotions. unfortunately i cant recreate my dream through words, but if i could capture it on film, i wouldnt be able to watch it. im a few months away from beginning my career as a cop. im gonna do it, there's no stopping me. but this dream made me realize: this is real shit. the dream was a warning sign to something i may one day experience, and i hope i never do. and its just the murder of my friend im talking about. this dream incorporates my biggest fear of all: failure. i failed to protect him. it was my idea to separate. i should have stayed close. i let him down. i let his family down. i let myself down. i cant fail in my job. i have zero margin for error. im mentally preparing myself to see some of the worst crimes ever committed. it feels like my moral duty for me to start out as a cop. i have nothing to lose, so why not protect the people who do? i work for the people, and thats who i have to protect. not just my friends and family, but everyone.
the new girl in the store,
what's her name please? i forget.
interested to know more,
he wont forget the day they met.
sometimes at work they chilled,
a slow start for two friends.
then they started to build,
a friendship that never ends.
it started with an invite,
grocery shopping just for fun.
sharing laughs all through the night,
until the job was done.
they grew on one another,
spending nights just talking shit.
being there for each other,
the only crime they did commit.
then one went away,
the story started to change.
he had nothing to say,
then their friendship became strange.
strangers of the past,
keeping distance for their sake.
learning that nothing will last,
but its a risk they're willing to take.
last week i felt something i never imagined would happen to me. i felt needy. for once in my life, i wanted to talk to someone. i was coming back home from school and all of a sudden..... i just had this urge to talk to someone. so i scrambled through my phone to see who i thought would want to talk. and it wasnt like i had anything important to say, i just really, really, really wanted some human interaction. So as im scrolling through my phone list, i realized, that, no one in my contacts gives a shit what i have to say. just plain and simple. im not going to bother someone because of my own needs. i have never done that, and i dont plan on doing so in the future. it seems so inconsiderate of myself to do something like that. i always put top priority on everyone else. maybe thats why im where im at now. who knows? but what i do know is that that was a lonely ass drive back home.
i wrote this in my free time at work. about 20 minutes to do. it tells partly the story of someone i used to hang out with back in the day and how cool we were. obviously things didnt end to great. fuck it, thats life. sorry if it came out shitty. i havent been doing this in awhile and im a little rusty. plus my english is getting limited for some reason. looks like its time to bust out 1984 from my mini library and read my ass off.
on a side note, my vacation is coming up in 2 weeks, and im not doing anything extravagant this year, but i wish i could go back to my adopted country Spain *sad face* who's got nothing to do and wants to hang out? and whats fun to do in houston?......
im laughing at myself right now. i just realized how much of a dumb ass i look when im thinking/daydreaming. i stare off into infinity with this stupefied look on my face like ive just seen the girl of my dreams walk by. the thought train for me has always been a challenge to get moving, but once im on a roll, aint shit stopping me. ive fallen off the map with my posts, main reason being is that i just havent been feeling it this whole time. in all honesty, i really dont have anything interesting to say. i rather speak to someone face to face rather than by text. phone calls work for me too.
work has been getting to me. some days i wake up pissed off before i even get out of the bed, and im already an angry person as it is. everyone wants me to do their shit at work. yea, i dont think so. and then to make matters worse i sit in a cubicle isolated from the rest of humanity for 7 hours out of my day. the room i work from shouldve been included in Dante's ninth circle of hell. yes, it is that terrible. im like a caged animal taken from the wild and put on display. and the most wicked part of all this? the fucking work hangovers.
for those of you that dont know (which is basically everyone, since i just made this up), a work hangover is a headache you get when your brain overloads, basically you think too much. add stress and sleep deprivation to the mix, and you got yourself an 80 proof recipe for a bitchin' headache. the other day i had one on my way to school. my forehead was fucking throbbing. that shit is no bueno when mixed with drowsiness. which brings me to ANOTHER thing. kids, get at least 6-8 hrs of sleep a night. i had a little incident over the summer that i would like to share.
so i was on my way to school. it was sometime in August, and August in Texas means 100+ degree weather, so naturally i had the A/C on full blast. well, i went to sleep around 3 or 4am that morning writing shit, so i looked and felt noticeably fucked up,and yes i was fully aware that i had to wake up at 6am to get ready for work. now one thing you have to understand is, when youre tired, hungry, its hot outside and you have the A/C full blast, i can almost guarantee you will get sleepy. with that being said, i was on Gessner in the memorial area going towards westheimer at around 5pm, afternoon rush hour. the light at memorial had turned red so everyone was slowing down, me included. as i was slowing down, i got real comfy in my seat while the air was blowing in my face. i must have been creeping at about 10-15 mph when i dozed off. it literally felt like 10 seconds before i was awakened by my car bumping into the rear fender of the chick in front of me. at this point in time, i was totally fucking out of it. we both put on our emergency lights and we shift our cars into park at the same time. i put on my sunglasses. the sunglasses where for me, i didnt want her to think i had been drinking, plus it was really fucking bright outside.the lady came out her car dressed in scrubs and visibly tired. she had to be a recently certified nurse, around her late 20's. i was getting ready to be yelled at by a pissed off nurse, when she calmly stepped out and asked if i was ok. i replied with a simple yes, the tone of my voice obviously worried. i was still unsure if she was going to chew me out anytime soon. suprisingly, she said it was ok, "these things happen." i cant remember what she drove, but it wasnt anything super nice or extravagant. i ended up with a bent license plate. that was it.the whole ordeal took less than 2 minutes. i went on to school fully awake after that, thanking god i was going any faster and that the lady was so nice. nothing happened to her car. but ever since then, i try my absolute best to pay attention to the road. you see? there was always a reason why your parents always at you to go to sleep early. i found out the reason why we had bedtimes as kids.
other than that little adventure, nothing has really happened. i saw end of watch 2 weeks ago, which by the way, is a pretty good movie.it shows the daily life and relationship of 2 LAPD officers on patrol and the shit they encounter. to me, it was basically a movie briefing me on all the crazy stuff i'll see when i go. and that movie is exactly the reason why i dont want to get married or have kids. go watch it and you'll find out why. ill write about that on my next post. tonight, im watching looper. from what i hear, its like a modern day terminator, inception-style.fucking epic.
as you all may know, music plays a big part of my life. its the air to my lungs. usually i post a song that ive been listening to alot recently, and today is no exception. Once again, Deftones is my drug of choice. ive brought them up plenty of times in previous posts, their music lets people use their own judgement on what their songs are about, and i admire that. this video is fan made and not the actual music video, but i liked it so much i felt like i had to share it. please watch and enjoy. if you can figure out video, you understand my love for music. getting a message across Oh, and the girl in the video is ridiculously cute.
