besides thinking about soccer, ive become infatuated with the study of human psychology. here's a question for you. what do you do when someone you love so, so much, gets taken away from you and you cant do shit about it? all you can do is just watch. a little piece of you dies on the inside. your left with a cold pain in your heart that nothing can warm up. you get butterflies in your stomach, but they're the kind of parasites that eat your insides up with every breath that you take.your breathing get heavier, and you can only hope that nothing reminds you of that person, but its no use. when you look into the mirror, you see their reflection right behind you, and when you turn around, they're gone.
this is where my music reference comes in. Estranged is a song by Guns N' Roses, and its my favorite song of all time, hands down. i HIGHLY recommend you listen to it. plus, it has a pretty badass guitar part too. but What it talks about how we can find ourselves in a world of loneliness and desperation without being able to do anything, but at the same time accepting the fact that its just wasnt meant to be. yesterday i said that sometimes the hardest part is letting go. but from this perspective, what is harder? leaving someone or being left alone? how can we sit there contemplating something so hurtful and run away from someone we love? there is never an easy exit out of love but hopefully its done with the best intentions for both.
the person on the receiving end of the message starts to think about what they couldve done better. your self esteem takes a nasty blow. i dont know if this is common for everyone, but ive felt like im not good enough for anybody afterwards. if my best wasnt good enough for them, whats going to stop the next person in my life from doing the same? your self worth becomes shit. you have this idea stuck in your head that you will never be happy again, and view everything in a negative matter, even if its something as simple as a household chore. you begin to do whatever it takes to make the pain go away. the brain has a way of fooling itself even in times of great despair. and during this whole ordeal, you lose what little sanity you had left from everything you put up with. all you want to do is give up.
dont give up though. it doesnt matter if the odds are against you, nothing is written in stone. you can always come back from a loss. realize the mistakes youve made and admit them to yourself. learn from them. what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger, and the day is dark just before the sun rises. hope is all we have to hang on to, and that idea alone can help us make it over any obstacle that tries to get in our way. we've all felt this feeling once before, over the loss of someone we love. that feeling has a name. Estranged.
My favorite singer from Guns N' Roses, Axl Rose, explaining the song:
No comments:
Post a Comment