Drive

Last night, i went out for a drive. i didnt go too far, but it felt like i was driving for an eternity. i miss being able to go out  and do stuff like that. there's just something about those nights that make it feel so relaxing. every once in a while i do wish i can have some company though, talking to someone has its benefits as well, and i dont think talking to yourself for too long is good for you.

on my drive last night i had my ipod on shuffle when a song i hadnt heard in awhile came on, drive by Incubus. it just so happens i was passing by my old high school, and a mixture of emotions came back up. i dont know what it was, but one minute im driving down the road towards nowhere, the next im pulling into the high school parking lot. i drove around campus for a little bit, remembering when times where simpler and free of worry. even though it was dark, in my imagination i was back in school. i was a ghost, no one could see me, but i could see everyone. i started to remember the people that i knew and everyone i had met. i remembered the hallways, the classrooms, my friends, the cafeteria, the teachers, everything. i can say what i want about how horrible high school was, but when i did have a good day, those where the days i remember most.

in all honesty, last night i felt empty and forgotten. i felt that way because i was happy at the time i attended, and now i dont think i will ever be as happy as i was then. the people that i met were what made it worthwhile. i have met some of the most caring and amazing people during my few years going to school in cypress. a few i still talk to to this day.

i felt a knot in my stomach driving around to the back where i used to catch the bus. so many memories, so many good times, so little appreciation. i wish i could relive just ONE good day i had. that would make up for these last 3 years.

until last night, i never truly realized how big of an impact someone could make on the rest of your life. i  remembered everyone i had ever talked to and everyone who talked to me. to my friends, i always wanted to be someone that they'll remember years from now. leaving an imprint of myself in someone's life is something i had always wanted to achieve, and hopefully, i already have.