God's Son

God has a weird way of talking to you. he's always been there when i needed him the most. he's never left my side. even when i was drowning in the dark abyss of my tortured soul, he helped put out the fire inside and nursed me back to health. ive never had an actual true relationship with god before. in the past ive accepted him yes, but i never really lived the lifestyle of a true believer. that is up until this point, the last 2 weeks i havent written anything. zero. nothing. i was on the verge of suffering a nervous breakdown. but through the grace of god and all his glory, he sent my friends to come help me out.

ive received some words of encouragement from some of my closest friends, and some not so near. its weird to think that you can be going through something so horrible and rough in your head, and then you see something or hear something that you can relate to in public. what i mean is for example, you can be going through a rough time with your family. then later that day or week, someone speaks to you or see and hear about how family should always be together. stuff like that. it gets placed at the right moment and at the right time in your life that you just cant help but wonder if someone planted that event there is trying to say something to you. it always happens.

im starting to learn on my own again the knowledge that the bible has. take the time to read a a random passage everyday and try to find something in your life that you can compare it to. you'll be surprised how many things you can relate to. and dont be afraid to say you are a true believer in god. i dont want to live a meaningless life where my greatest goal was to just move out the house. i appreciate Him because he's done so much for me in my life. new job, money, vacations, knowledge, health, all that i have now.  without the lord im just another brick in the wall.

people always made fun of me because i never followed in their footsteps. i was never part of the "in" crowd or anything like that. i look at them now and the decisions they made, and i always hear the same excuse. i was young, i didnt know what i was doing. now they're paying for their mistakes, some of them life changing. i never got into drugs. ive never tried them. i dont drink. i dont party. im not your typical post-pubescent male. and im proud to say that ive abstained from sex my whole life so far. i always thought sex was something for 2 people who are truly in love, because those were god's intentions. its turned into nothing more than a problematic, hormonal instinct that most males feel turns them into men. i never viewed it like that.

ive always had self control. i think that's the greatest gift ive ever received. its one of my most notable characteristics as well. there have been plenty of times ive been lured into temptation. and so far, not once have i given in. i try to live my life with standards and morals, honor and respect. so far its worked for me well. asides from wanting to make my parents proud. i want to make god proud.

for all the people that read this post, i want you to watch the video below as he basically explains the same, EXACT view on sex that i have. if you didnt like tonights post, im sorry, and i dont care. i didnt write this blog tonight to entertain, i wrote to inform. everyone should find peace in their heart and mind once they let him in. so far its working for me. you have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. and i wish one day i can meet the guy in the video below. i would love to write a poem or an actual song with him one day. at the end of the day, i feel like im finally back track to my final destination: salvation.